The Hurtful Voice in my Head
I am sick. I have a voice of a 5 year old in my head. An angry child that repeats nasty words in my mind over and over again. He will say bad things towards other people, calling them “ugly”, “fat”, “old”, he never has anything positive to say. He will see other races, and call them “niggers” or “chinks”. He will listen to other people’s stories and scream “liar” or say “LOL” when listening to people pouring their heart out. He will shout “pedophile” or “rape” when seeing certain people on the street. He will tell me I am a “liar”, or say that I am “beautiful” or “the best” when I have never thought this about myself in the past. I can’t control this voice, I don’t know if I should kill it, or try to calm it. The worst is when the voice hurts the people who I love, my family, my friends, the people close to me. When I explain the situation to people, they ask me if the voice hasn’t always been a part of me. I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I have multiple reasons to think ...