Aleph Null

Question everything around you, Reject what you think you know and replace it with something else, No matter how lucrative, how crazy it may sound to yourself, See how it could apply in the world around you, Does it make sense? Which part makes sense? Which part does not? Can you modify your theory to make it make sense? What could go wrong with said theory? Challenge everything, Ask yourself questions that may be basic, Where does candle wax come from? Why is coffee at room temperature cold, and soda at room temperature cold? How high can flies fly? Everything should be questioned, The Who? The What? The Where? The When? The Why? The How? The more questions you ask, The more answers you will get, The more questions you will receive, The more answers you may seek, Sometimes life has multiple answers to the same questions, Sometimes it has multiple questions to the same answers, The more you question, The more you will see.

Who's fault is it? When I was younger, I was always taught to stop blaming others, and blame yourself. But is that really the best strategy? When something goes wrong, is it always really only one person who is to blame? How did the blamed get into that situation in the first place? Did they just magically appear there to fail and be blamed? Did they ask to be in this position? Who gave permission for that person to be in the blamed position? Should they not be the ones to be blamed, or at least take part of the blame? But then, what about the others who are directly related to the person who put the person in the blamed position. Are they not to blame either? What if the blamed never even wanted to be born in the first place? What if none of them wanted to be born? Can we blame someone who never wanted to exist? Why give any type of responsibility to any of those people? Where can the blame be stopped? Is everyone to be blamed? Can we even blame the people who ...

Hello one and all! Once, I posted a journal, and here are the first 60 pages of the second part of the journal. This one, I have called "Blûre" as my life is kind of a blur right now, and if you mix the letters around, it spells "Brûle", which is french for Burn. The work is still is still being completed, but I'm having fun doing it. I have contacted many publishers to try and publish my original journal, but as of right now, everybody is refusing. I will try and fuse Rogue and Blûre with their best parts into one hybrid journal. If this does not work, I will likely self publish, which costs around 800 euros, and i don't even have a job yet, but that's ok, I have time. You can find it here: I hope you enjoy!

I am probably the most horrible flirter ever. First, the word, "Flirting". I checked it out in the dictionary. "to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions, play at love, coquet." Without serious intentions? As in we just flirt with no thought behind it? We give off winks and flare our noses to make people think we are interested, but in fact we are not interested at all? How does one show interest in another person if it's not through flirting? What's the point of flirting at all, if, essentially, nothing comes of it? Just so people can feel good about themselves because part of their brain believes that the other person is interested in them? So they can feel good about themselves? Maybe that's why many people seem to hate me. Or maybe I'm just an asshole, I don't know. When I was in middle school, I remember there was this kid, who always had an expressionless face. You never knew if he was happy, mad, sad. etc. ...

When you are able to disconnect from everything, you are able to choose from anything. What does this mean? I thought about this phrase last night, and instead of writing it directly in my journal, I decided to go to sleep. What a mistake that was. Thankfully I wrote down the phrase to try and reconstruct the thought process. Sadly it won't be as good as the original thought (or maybe it will be even better, who knows!) but I thought the idea was pretty cool at the time. So, first off all, we must disconnect. But disconnect from what? What are we connected to? We are connected to technology, we are connected to the people around us, we are connected to society. Being connected means that we are affected by said connections. All of these connections are either positive or negative. Thinking about it, a connection could also be neutral, no? If we have a neutral connection with something, do we care at all? It doesn't cause us any pain or pleasure, so do we want to disconnec...

I am sick. I have a voice of a 5 year old in my head. An angry child that repeats nasty words in my mind over and over again. He will say bad things towards other people, calling them “ugly”, “fat”, “old”, he never has anything positive to say. He will see other races, and call them “niggers” or “chinks”. He will listen to other people’s stories and scream “liar” or say “LOL” when listening to people pouring their heart out. He will shout “pedophile” or “rape” when seeing certain people on the street. He will tell me I am a “liar”, or say that I am “beautiful” or “the best” when I have never thought this about myself in the past. I can’t control this voice, I don’t know if I should kill it, or try to calm it. The worst is when the voice hurts the people who I love, my family, my friends, the people close to me. When I explain the situation to people, they ask me if the voice hasn’t always been a part of me. I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I have multiple reasons to think ...