PIPPO
I wrote this a looong time ago! There is a better version edited by Ian, but I cannot find it, so I guess ya'll are stuck with this one. One day, I will finish it. I swear!
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One day, there was a hippo, and he was sad. Hippo wanted to eat a giraffe, but could not, because it was against the code of The Hippo. If he did, the Hippopotamus Brigade would arrest him, and he would be eaten by Roger the Lion. Roger the Lion wasn’t just any lion. Roger was more like a ferocious freak usually found in the deepest bowels of Hell were Satan himself will lock them up in the blackest room for no demon but him can stand the sight of them without blowing up chunks in there faces, through the little rectangular hole on the door that Johnny cut through because his cat was curious and managed to slip under the door, but could not get out because a witch put a curse that would make it fat when the clock stroke the hour of midnight because he ate a giraffe’s leg that was neatly sitting on the Dwarf’s plate while he was watching the Quidditch game between Harry and the orcs. So the Hippo decided it was better to be a vegetarian than to be eaten by Roger.
Welcome Ladies and Gentile Men to a world where pig’s fly, and rat’s have brains. No, this ain’t Pokeland. This is a land where real animals have conflicting conflicts and ask themselves why humans ponder the meaning of life. Now, come with me on a journey you will certainly enjoy and have fun! You may learn something too, but I doubt it.
We start our story, or rather, I will start this story by explaining the different characters in my story. In my story, my main character’s name shat be Hubus. Hubus will be a Purple Hippotamoose. But they prefer to be called Pippos. Commonly mistaken for Barney with antlers, in which if you do call them that in there face, they will beat on you until you have your toe bone sticking out of your eye, for they despise Barney, because he was an outcast who signed a contract with the humans to get a quick buck. He also sawed of his antlers and claimed to be a dinosaur from the Crotic Period, which isn’t a real period for you “Bible Thumpin’ God Created Life” geeks. Anyways, Pippos usually live along swamps populated by Chronodials, which are “Timekeeper Alligators”. No I did not just copy the Time Crocodile in Peter Pan! Mine are alligators! And they’re blue! Not Green! Anyways, Pippos like to eat seaweed, but will occasionally try different foods. They do not do this often though, because if the Hippo Brigade catches them, they are severely punished, and are likely to be thrown in Roger the Lion’s cage. Why are the Hippopotamus Overlords so strict, nobody knows. Pippos live in dwellings made of shticks and shit. It’s has a pretty nasty smell to us humans, but they seems to like it. Pippos like to play hardcore croquet, and jump on trampolines, and imagine they are pigs with wings who fly all around the stratosphere. Well, I will not bore you with the wonderful culture of the Pippos. On to our story!
Now, we start our story by entering the life of Hubus, a slightly obese, but not entirely overweight purple Hippopotamus. Hubus is not like other Pippos. Hubus lives along the magic beach, where mermen live. As you can see, Hubus is not your typical Pippo. Why does Hubus live with merman’s you ask? It is because Hubus likes reptiles. Specifically, reptiles with one eye. Anyways, one day, Hubus was drinking coffee, when a strange rat tapped on the door. Hubus decided to send his Afro-African Sex-Slave to open it. “Y’ello, Mist’r Jackal, g’ad too C U this morning…” Poogsty the Jackal harshly smacked the Sex-Slave, and while he screamed in ecstasy, Poogsty walked over to Hubus, and said “Hi Hubus! Can I ask you a favor?” Hubus looked and him, and grinned. “Not that kind of favor, you sperm-guzzling tank of a mammoth! I want another favor! Fugly, my sister, got kidnapped by the savages, and I need your help to save her! She is being civilly raped by them! IN THE BUTT! I will pay you 10 thousand in Menthos Fresh Bummblegum!!! Hubus stared straight into the camera and rasped, “I shall consider it…”. The story then proceeded to be retarded while I turned around and grabbed my mug of hot cocoa, and zoomed into Hubus’s face. The “Zoom” somehow smacked him. I dunno how, but it did. He then got a broken snout, and I had to take him to the genie, where he rubbed the genie lamp, and out popped GASP! YOU GUESSED IT!!! A Hexapus. The hexapus could grant seven wishes (seven because it was male) and Hubus asked for his snout to be amended, to become indestructible, and to become a Suberb Sayen. He then proceeded to grow yellow curly hair, and a gorilla tail, which is not the same as a monkey tail, believe me. We then did not have time to finish this part of the story in the chapter, so I will have to create a new chapter tomorrow, with Hubus, the Superb Sayan as the new main character, which is actually the same character, but he just has yellow curly hair, and a gorilla tail. He also lost two pounds.
NEXT DAY
We find our hero walking in the Magical Forest of Love Juice. He decided to cut his Suberb Sayan Hair because it got in the way when he tried to catch the one eyed Snake, he could never get the blast all up his nose, because it was always in the way, trying to get a piece of the action. Hubus was no sharer, so he decided to cut it with a Hack Saw, which he usually used to scratch his balls. T’was no easy fight, but Husbus finally cut off the last strand. The Hair was pissed, and decided move to Belgium. It then decided to reside on the bald hair of some I shall not name, but will refer to him as Ian Xavier Gluck to protect his identity. So anyways, while Hubus was eating a Juicy Shtick, a magical fairy came up to him. “Hey you fat pippo, I need your help !” “I’m not fat Fairy!” replied Hubus. “I lost two pounds!”. The fairy looked at him all google-y eye’d, and rammed his wand up Hubus’s butt. “Hey Barney, listen to me !” Hubus flexed his butt and gave a great sigh. He then took it out and waived it around. “You call me Barney one more time, and I will shove this up your ass!!”. The Fairy looked up and said, “Allright, allright, I’m sorry, but please listen. I need a favor…No, not that kind of favor ! I need you to save my Boyfriend!” Hubus glanced at the Fairy, and said “Hmmm…Lemme guess. Your boyfriend is either jailed in the highest tower, or in a dungeon deep in the center of the crusty earth, and he is protected by Evil Men, and their leader Evil Man, and you want me to go butt-fuck them all until they scream in ecstasy? We’ll I’m not a whore! So, no!” The Fairy said”…no…actually my boyfriend is stuck in my derriere…can you help me pull him out?” Hubus said “Sure ! Turn around!!!” As the Fairy turned around, Hubus could not contain his excitement. He shot his hand in the butt, felt something, and pulled. “OWW! The was my butt hair!!” Hubus saw it, and pocketed it. It may serve useful in the near future. “Ok. Put your hand in and go straight. Then take a left. No the other left. NO NO NOT UP No….grf grf.” Hubus’s hand was sticking out of his mouth. “Sorry!” He then retracted his hand. “ASS! Ok, now go left, right there. Now feel around in there until your finger is pull’d. Hubus felt around for a couple of minuets, and finally, his finger was pulled. ¡FART! See, when you pull a Pippo’s finger, they fart. If you push it, they burp. If you wiggle it around, it will just feel really good to them. So after fiddleing around, and pulling him, Hubus finally got him out. “O thank you so much! As a reward, you shat get a Plot !” “A plot? What the boneing is a plot?” The Fairy thought for a while and said “…something you don’t have…ok got to go!!” With that the Fairy and the Boyfriend left. BAWANANANANA!!!! Hubus got a Plot !!!!
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PIPPO
Prologue
One day, there was a hippo, and he was sad. Hippo wanted to eat a giraffe, but could not, because it was against the code of The Hippo. If he did, the Hippopotamus Brigade would arrest him, and he would be eaten by Roger the Lion. Roger the Lion wasn’t just any lion. Roger was more like a ferocious freak usually found in the deepest bowels of Hell were Satan himself will lock them up in the blackest room for no demon but him can stand the sight of them without blowing up chunks in there faces, through the little rectangular hole on the door that Johnny cut through because his cat was curious and managed to slip under the door, but could not get out because a witch put a curse that would make it fat when the clock stroke the hour of midnight because he ate a giraffe’s leg that was neatly sitting on the Dwarf’s plate while he was watching the Quidditch game between Harry and the orcs. So the Hippo decided it was better to be a vegetarian than to be eaten by Roger.
Chapter 1: Pippos
Welcome Ladies and Gentile Men to a world where pig’s fly, and rat’s have brains. No, this ain’t Pokeland. This is a land where real animals have conflicting conflicts and ask themselves why humans ponder the meaning of life. Now, come with me on a journey you will certainly enjoy and have fun! You may learn something too, but I doubt it.
We start our story, or rather, I will start this story by explaining the different characters in my story. In my story, my main character’s name shat be Hubus. Hubus will be a Purple Hippotamoose. But they prefer to be called Pippos. Commonly mistaken for Barney with antlers, in which if you do call them that in there face, they will beat on you until you have your toe bone sticking out of your eye, for they despise Barney, because he was an outcast who signed a contract with the humans to get a quick buck. He also sawed of his antlers and claimed to be a dinosaur from the Crotic Period, which isn’t a real period for you “Bible Thumpin’ God Created Life” geeks. Anyways, Pippos usually live along swamps populated by Chronodials, which are “Timekeeper Alligators”. No I did not just copy the Time Crocodile in Peter Pan! Mine are alligators! And they’re blue! Not Green! Anyways, Pippos like to eat seaweed, but will occasionally try different foods. They do not do this often though, because if the Hippo Brigade catches them, they are severely punished, and are likely to be thrown in Roger the Lion’s cage. Why are the Hippopotamus Overlords so strict, nobody knows. Pippos live in dwellings made of shticks and shit. It’s has a pretty nasty smell to us humans, but they seems to like it. Pippos like to play hardcore croquet, and jump on trampolines, and imagine they are pigs with wings who fly all around the stratosphere. Well, I will not bore you with the wonderful culture of the Pippos. On to our story!
Chapter 2: Hubus
Now, we start our story by entering the life of Hubus, a slightly obese, but not entirely overweight purple Hippopotamus. Hubus is not like other Pippos. Hubus lives along the magic beach, where mermen live. As you can see, Hubus is not your typical Pippo. Why does Hubus live with merman’s you ask? It is because Hubus likes reptiles. Specifically, reptiles with one eye. Anyways, one day, Hubus was drinking coffee, when a strange rat tapped on the door. Hubus decided to send his Afro-African Sex-Slave to open it. “Y’ello, Mist’r Jackal, g’ad too C U this morning…” Poogsty the Jackal harshly smacked the Sex-Slave, and while he screamed in ecstasy, Poogsty walked over to Hubus, and said “Hi Hubus! Can I ask you a favor?” Hubus looked and him, and grinned. “Not that kind of favor, you sperm-guzzling tank of a mammoth! I want another favor! Fugly, my sister, got kidnapped by the savages, and I need your help to save her! She is being civilly raped by them! IN THE BUTT! I will pay you 10 thousand in Menthos Fresh Bummblegum!!! Hubus stared straight into the camera and rasped, “I shall consider it…”. The story then proceeded to be retarded while I turned around and grabbed my mug of hot cocoa, and zoomed into Hubus’s face. The “Zoom” somehow smacked him. I dunno how, but it did. He then got a broken snout, and I had to take him to the genie, where he rubbed the genie lamp, and out popped GASP! YOU GUESSED IT!!! A Hexapus. The hexapus could grant seven wishes (seven because it was male) and Hubus asked for his snout to be amended, to become indestructible, and to become a Suberb Sayen. He then proceeded to grow yellow curly hair, and a gorilla tail, which is not the same as a monkey tail, believe me. We then did not have time to finish this part of the story in the chapter, so I will have to create a new chapter tomorrow, with Hubus, the Superb Sayan as the new main character, which is actually the same character, but he just has yellow curly hair, and a gorilla tail. He also lost two pounds.
NEXT DAY
Chapter 3: The Plot
We find our hero walking in the Magical Forest of Love Juice. He decided to cut his Suberb Sayan Hair because it got in the way when he tried to catch the one eyed Snake, he could never get the blast all up his nose, because it was always in the way, trying to get a piece of the action. Hubus was no sharer, so he decided to cut it with a Hack Saw, which he usually used to scratch his balls. T’was no easy fight, but Husbus finally cut off the last strand. The Hair was pissed, and decided move to Belgium. It then decided to reside on the bald hair of some I shall not name, but will refer to him as Ian Xavier Gluck to protect his identity. So anyways, while Hubus was eating a Juicy Shtick, a magical fairy came up to him. “Hey you fat pippo, I need your help !” “I’m not fat Fairy!” replied Hubus. “I lost two pounds!”. The fairy looked at him all google-y eye’d, and rammed his wand up Hubus’s butt. “Hey Barney, listen to me !” Hubus flexed his butt and gave a great sigh. He then took it out and waived it around. “You call me Barney one more time, and I will shove this up your ass!!”. The Fairy looked up and said, “Allright, allright, I’m sorry, but please listen. I need a favor…No, not that kind of favor ! I need you to save my Boyfriend!” Hubus glanced at the Fairy, and said “Hmmm…Lemme guess. Your boyfriend is either jailed in the highest tower, or in a dungeon deep in the center of the crusty earth, and he is protected by Evil Men, and their leader Evil Man, and you want me to go butt-fuck them all until they scream in ecstasy? We’ll I’m not a whore! So, no!” The Fairy said”…no…actually my boyfriend is stuck in my derriere…can you help me pull him out?” Hubus said “Sure ! Turn around!!!” As the Fairy turned around, Hubus could not contain his excitement. He shot his hand in the butt, felt something, and pulled. “OWW! The was my butt hair!!” Hubus saw it, and pocketed it. It may serve useful in the near future. “Ok. Put your hand in and go straight. Then take a left. No the other left. NO NO NOT UP No….grf grf.” Hubus’s hand was sticking out of his mouth. “Sorry!” He then retracted his hand. “ASS! Ok, now go left, right there. Now feel around in there until your finger is pull’d. Hubus felt around for a couple of minuets, and finally, his finger was pulled. ¡FART! See, when you pull a Pippo’s finger, they fart. If you push it, they burp. If you wiggle it around, it will just feel really good to them. So after fiddleing around, and pulling him, Hubus finally got him out. “O thank you so much! As a reward, you shat get a Plot !” “A plot? What the boneing is a plot?” The Fairy thought for a while and said “…something you don’t have…ok got to go!!” With that the Fairy and the Boyfriend left. BAWANANANANA!!!! Hubus got a Plot !!!!
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