A decade later.....

Hello! Haven't written anything in forever, thought about making another blog, but all the cool names were taken, so I'm back here, I mean why not. On with my free flow little thing I wrote here a couple of days ago. I had no internet. I wonder if I would have written this if I had internet.... Was it a sign? I used to not beleive in signs, but now I see them everywhere. Every little thing, every little detail, I think it means something. I thought in the beginning there were good signs and bad signs, but really, I choose the signs that I want to see.

I saw a guy on the street with a cool shirt. One one side was a snake, and the other, a flower. My mind decided to choose the flower as a prosperous sign, a sign of growth and love. My mind did not choose to view the snake as a sign, as for me, a snake represents poison, a bad omen. I chose what I wanted to see and believe. Others might see the snake and say that it represents life, a unity of something, from the tail to the head, while others will see the flower as broken love or something. I do not know.

Later, I walked down the street and saw a tomato that had exploded on the ground. Juices had run rampart. My immediate thought was "Eh, it's just a tomato, this is not a sign", but if I had classified it, I would have said it represented death, an exploded head on the sidewalk. If I had looked at it a day later, maybe I would have seen it as something positive, a needed destruction for the seeds to grow into another tomato plant, I do not know.

Do I only see the positive signs, and ignore the negative ones? Does this reflect my mental state of health? Do I lead a happier life just because I have a positive outlook on life? What if I forced myself to see the negative, what if saw a bird flying towards a rainbow, and convinced myself this meant certain destruction and doom for all life on this planet... Would my life physically change? What is the physical? It's just the mental's interpretation of the world... right? Would my sandwich taste better if I saw a motor vehicle accident and told myself.. "Hey, the more accidents there are, the less chance of it happening to me statistically...right?" If we live in positivity all the time, would everything just be great? If everything is great, where is the motivation to do more for things to be better?

Sometimes I think I should be more negative in life. I want to win a prestigious award, and hate myself for it, the reason does not matter, and punish myself. Would that motivate me to be better?

Good results never satisfy me, and bad results are just an annoyance until I can get good results, or until I just quit. I don't know what truly satisfies me in life, I always seem to be happy with everything, while I see my peers go on highs and lows all the time. Even when I am unhappy, I am satisfied with the fact that tomorrow will be better, and if not, one day.

I should be more of a negative nelly. Maybe try it for a month? Hate the world, hate myself, have bad thoughts about myself and others, put people down. Maybe after this month I can truly appreciate the positivity in life. When you are happy for too long, there are no more highs. You just get used to it. Your happiness is just normal, everyday life. People strive to be happy all the time. I should strive to be miserable.

Anyways, this is what I wrote a couple of days ago.

Enjoy, I guess...

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What should I write?

Nothing in the mind, freestyle! I wonder what it is like to be a blueberry pie? I mean, do you taste your own berries? I have no idea wtf i'm talking about. Just rambling on about life. What is life? How do you define it? My internet is down, so I cannot go looking for it in the dictionary. I think that life iiissssss.... interaction...with the world. The more you interact, the more life you get. With people, places, imagination. You've got to live life, face your fears. What if your fears hurt people? What if you constantly belittle people for no reason? What if you wanted to hurt people? For no reason at all? Would it be better to try and interact with them, or would it be better if you stayed alone? What if the others accepted your difference? Do they see you as someone who is hurt? Who needs attention? How does one conquer these fears? Will by going out more, the fears will grow stronger? Or will it disappear? Would it raise the tolerance of the people who accept you? Imagine you became a Universal hate. You go places, and everyone is in agreement that they hate you. But you don't care. Because you love them. Can a love from someone who hurts people be unconditional love? I don't so, as the hurt contaminates the love. The hurt will always be there, no matter what. It's better to heal, and come back. But then again, that's just my opinion. There are no truths, only your truths. You believe in what you want to believe. I respect that. You know better than anyone else, because you have felt these truths. They are the truths that make you happy. That make you flow in life. What if someone else collides with your truth? What do you do? Communication. Communication is key. What if survival becomes a factor? Defend. But they say that offense is the best defense? Injure. But what if they come back? Kill. If defense was one extreme and kill was the other extreme, would injure be considered moderate? What what about Ghankis Khans tactics? Conquer, then have everyone who wanted to, join him? That's what the Romans did. I'm pretty sure that was the most successful tactic of conquering the world. How the fuck did this go from blueberry pie to full out war? That's what smokin' the J does =(;b

All this is making me hungry, about to prepare some sausages with riccceeee. No ketchup though :(

I dunno, I haven't thought about this too much yet but:

When you do, do it With the World.

What if when you did something, you thought about the world, and you and the world where all doing the same thing? Thinking about 7 billion people doing the same activity. I just did weird elbow pull up shit, and as I was doing it, I wasn't counting, I started thinking about the world pushing with me. Kind of a meditative work out? It flipped me the fuck out, I was doing so many, I decided to stop, but I should have continued. And I will. What if you decided to paint and thought of them? Maybe it's not so much as doing it with the world, but as flowing in your own nature. Think of someone you love as you paint. Flying when you ice skate. Whatever makes you dream, whatever renders you passionate, whatever makes you flow. But what if you did something in a non-flowing emotion. Like the 7 billiion people not arm pumping, but painting? OMG, I'm so gonna try that sheot.

Imagine if the earth disappeared, but gravity stayed. 7 billon people falling into the center of the gravity ball. What about the survivors of this giant ball made of 7 billion humans. What would they do? Eat other bodies? Use their parts to create structures, and live in them? What would happen to the ones at the very center? Crushed by millions, no oxygen for the corpses to rot. What if all other life was joined to, trees, animals, viruses, everything all bundled into one. What if the earth disappearing created another earth? I don't think that's possible, trees adapting and growing in flesh? Sounds crazy. How would you film something like that? What kind of story would it be? A disaster story?